3 months old already!

I don't know where the time has gone.  Our baby girl is three months old already!  I never updated that she had her follow-up appointments with the children's hospital here in the U.S. and she has perfect hearing.  Changing how we fed her made all the difference in the world.  Thank you to everybody for your kind words and support. 

Home Sweet Home

We are home and settled in.  Oh microwave, toaster, hot showers, clean water, how I missed you!  Our little peanut is settling in quite well.  She loves EVERYTHING.  Big smiles all day long.  She is sleeping 8 hours in a row at night in her crib and waking up so happy. 

I forgot to update that she was seen by the pediatric audiologist that flew in from Hawaii while we were in Majuro.  Bottomline, she most likely has reversible hearing loss.  Her nerves and brain work fine, but her middle ears don't contract to sound.  Most likely cause of this is fluid in the middle ear.  Apparently very common in Marshallese babies.  They reflux their liquid food (breast milk or formula) into their eustachian tubes because of their unique anatomy.  We were told to start feeding her at 45 degree angle or higher to help prevent this.  As she gets older, her tubes will get larger and longer and this fluid should drain on its own. 

We changed how we fed her and now we think she can hear sometimes.  Not soft sounds, but loud sounds seem to startle her.  Yeah!  We are having her rechecked here by specialists at home, but it looks like she will be just fine and will grow up with normal hearing afterall.  Phew!  We would have loved her regardless, but we are so happy for her.

That will be all from us.  We hope that you find our blog useful for your pathway towards an international Marshallese adoption.

Yokwe!

Hawaii

Our little baby girl is officially a U.S. citizen!  The flight from Majuro to Honolulu went smoothly.  She slept the entire time.  The immigration portion in Hawaii took a little while, which was frustrating at 3am!  My husband, mom, myself, and two other daughters all passed right through, of course.  We handed over our packet for our baby girl and they said to have a seat and that it would be "awhile".  They couldn't narrow down the timing any better for us.   Thankfully, not all of us had to stay so my mom and husband took our older two girls to the hotel while I waited.  There is NO bathroom in the wait area so I recommend you taking your time getting off the plane and use the one in the plane!

A little over 30 minutes later, the same immigration guy came over, picked up our packet.  Opened everything up.  Glanced at the paperwork for about 2 minutes then stamped her passport and said that we were free to go.  Really?  30 minutes of sitting for something that only took him 2 minutes.  Grrr!  But, we were officially on U.S. soil and she was officially a U.S. citizen!

Now hanging out in Hawaii enjoying the little things like hot showers, water you can drink right from the tap, good IPA beers, and a swimming pool!  We finish our final leg of the journey tomorrow.

Hard to believe that I started this blog over a year ago and now here we are, with our beautiful little girl.  So many ups and downs, plans and pathways derailed, but in the end, it all led us here.  Here is a photo of our little island baby:

Last Day in Majuro

We got our visa last week, but since our original flights home were in just a few days, financially it didn't make sense to pay the change ticket fee for everybody to fly out early.  My mom also flew in last week to help us out and travel home with us.  It has been fun showing her around Majuro and it's really lovely that she got to meet the birth family as well.

Three other families flew in last week as well, to adopt.  All of them also brought kids from home.  We have gotten together several times.  So much fun sharing this experience with others who are going through it too.

Last night we had a Yokwe Dinner.  Our Marshallese family sang songs and gave us little gifts.  There were a few tears shed, but mostly smiles and laughter.  It was a beautiful time.

Now time to pack!  Amazing how much stuff you can accumulate in such a short period of time!

Still in Majuro

Well, I wasn't going to post anymore, but given that our visa has been delayed again and again and again, it looks like we will not be leaving sooner than anybody else might be.  Nothing is really being expedited.  Apparently, Manila generally takes 5-7 days to process the visa paperwork.  Our paperwork was delivered to Manila on Wednesday.  Opened on Thursday and assigned to an agent which was then going to be process "in the order in which it was received."  As in, it is not being expedited, despite assurances from Manila that they would.  Now it is a holiday weekend.  Everybody had Friday off.  So, we are still waiting.

We are hoping to get our child seen by the hearing specialists from Hawaii when they come this week.  She has not been seen by a doctor since we discovered that she had hearing loss, as there is nobody here that can do that.  So sad for her, but also so very sad for all the other children here with inadequate medical care!  Just breaks my heart.

While we wait, we are trying to stay busy.  We now have a list of suggested activities for other families heading out here:

--day trip to Eneko Island (arranged through RRE.  They leave daily at 10am.  $30/adult; kids free)
--rent a car to visit Laura Beach ($70/day for the rental)
--walk through the ocean to neighboring islands on the atoll from Rita at low tide
--picnic and swim at Stone House beach (where the now closed Stone House Restaurant is)
--swimming at Long Island Hotel Beach (where the now closed Long Island Hotel and Restaurant is)
--swimming at Delap Beach Park
--Alele library (next to the courthouse.  Air-conditioned.  Children's reading room.)
--Alele museum (small but interesting.  Underneath the library)
--Canoe House (actually a skills program for youngsters that teaches wood working skills, including canoe making)
--Scuba diving (arranged through the dive shop at MIR.  $150/person for 1-2 people, $50 for each additional person.  Includes all equipment)
--Clam Farm
--Copra Factory
--Rubar Beach (BBQ and snack shack on site with covered picnic tables; good tidepools but not swimming)

As for restauarants, here is our recommendations:

Best Atmosphere: Chit Chat Room at the Marshall Islands Hotel
Best Pizza: Marshall Islands Resort.  Go during lunch.  Their lunch menu is way more extensive and reasonable compared to their dinner menu
Best Chinese: Enno's Restaurant (on right hand side, towards Rita from RRE)
Best American: Tide Table at RRE

The internet at the apartment works MUCH better now.  Somebody from NTA came out and did something.  Now we get a decent signal.  Set up your NTA wireless for $35/month.  Well worth the $5 charge to do so.  Unlimited wireless all over the island, and even covers Eneko Island!   To set it up, you need to bring your device, $40 cash, and a photo ID.  They set it up within one hour, Monday-Friday.

In Majuro

So much has happened since I last wrote.  It has been a whirlwind, and the internet connection at the apartment is non-existent.  So, we got here on Saturday.  We settled into the apartment.  It is a two bedroom apartment. Nicely furnished.  One bedroom has two twin beds. The other has a queen sized bed.  There is a wrap around couch in the family room.  Newly updated throughout.  Full kitchen with stove and oven, no microwave, dishwasher, or garbage disposal.  There is AC and fans in each room.  Very comfortable space.  One pot, one pan.  We have added a strainer, a spatula, a spoon, a broom, and a dustpan.  Nice comfy bath towels.  Intermittent room cleaning.  It is about a 15 minute taxi ride from the downtown area and the internet connection is awful, except between 6am-7am on the weekends.  There is a laundry mat in the parking lot and a grocery store too. Beware of expiration dates!  There is a bigger, nicer grocery store closer to downtown where things aren't as expired.

We settled in and met the birth family and our baby on Saturday afternoon.  She is just so beautiful!  We got to keep her overnight and for much of the next day.  Birth mom came back on Sunday afternoon and took her home.

Monday morning, we all met at court.  Court went pretty smoothly.  There was an issue with birth mom not knowing her real age.  Turns out that she is 14 months older than she thought that she was.  After court, birth mom took our baby to go get passport photos while we signed paperwork. 

Two days later, we went to the Embassy and applied for our visa.  Now the wait began for our return trip home.  We have been exploring the island.  We rented a car and drove out to Laura Beach. The car rental cost $70 plus gas.  Laura Beach is pretty, but really not a swimming beach.  Only swimming beach that we've really located was Delap Beach Park.  We went there once and got SWARMED by local kids.  Made us a little nervous having our 4 and 6 year olds in the water where the kids were just trying to crawl all over them.  Neither is a strong swimmer and our 4 year old wears water wings.  The kids had fun but we have been reluctant to return.

We have seen the birth family several times.  Really nice people.  They came over on Father's Day and sang songs to Mike.  (=  It was really sweet.

The only real problem that we've had is that our new daughter appears to be deaf.  She was marked as having passed her newborn screening exam.  We noticed that she wasn't responding to sounds at all.  No startle to loud noises.  Didn't track sound.  We took her back to the hospital yesterday and had her retested.  She has almost 100% hearing loss (100% in one ear, 80% loss in the other).  We don't know if the first test was wrong, done incorrectly, or if she has some sort of rapidly progressive process causing her to go deaf.  Regardless, there is no further testing that they can do here.  We are now trying to get our visa expedited so that we can get home and have her tested appropriately.  She is beautiful, and perfect, and wonderful and we will do all we can to get her the best medical care possible.

This will probably be our last update as our visa processing time will not reflect actual times for others, based on our need to get home for medical reasons.  We hope to explore as much as we can between now and the end of this week.  After we get settled, I will write one last post with our recommended packing lists and things to see and do.

For those of you who are still on this road, it is challenging in so many ways, but is also a blessing as well.  We wish you all luck with the paper chase, the wait, etc.  If you are looking for an agency, I cannot say enough good things about Adopt International.  They have been very supportive throughout this whole process and really receptive to our concerns about our daughter's hearing.  Their local contacts and staff are wonderful as well. 

T minus 14 hours...

14 hours before we fly out on our greatest adventure to date for our little family.  Bags are packed, well, mostly.  Last minute shifting of things from one bag to another and back again.  Nervous, excited, nervous.  We are renting a two bedroom apartment while we are there.  It will give us space to spread out a bit since my mother will also be joining us for a week.  The apartment is $800/week which is better than the $140 a night for a bungalow quoted to us by RR.  Will be nice to be able to do some of our own cooking.  Packing some comfort foods like mac n cheese, peanut butter, etc. for our girls.  Will check back in when we get to Majuro!

3 days until we leave

I cannot believe that we are leaving in three days.  Two bags are packed and weigh in at 49.5 lbs.  We are trying to get every pound that we are allowed onto that airplane!  (=  Our girls are so excited to go meet "their" baby, as are we!

We went to the travel clinic a couple days ago to see what we might need in terms of infectious diseases.  I'm an ER physician, but there is not a lot of information on the Marshalls.  Even the experts had trouble finding information!  Last typhoid surveillance was dated 2005.  Here is what I learned:
--no malaria risk
--dengue is a risk; they had a big outbreak in 2011 (day biting mosquitoes)
--typhoid risk is very very low.  In 2005 they had 40 cases per 100,000 people.  Vaccination not recommended
--chikungunya is a big risk.  Spread by mosquitoes. 
--Hepatitis B is a risk if you are going to be in contact with blood or body fluids of somebody who has Hepatitis B.
--no Yellow Fever
--no Japanese Encephalitis Virus
--Hepatitis A is a risk, just like it is here in the U.S.  Vaccine preventable.  Spread through food and water.

So, big take home points were:
--mosquito control!  We bought mosquito repellent bands in three different varieties.  We also have Bite Not stickers which contain Vitamin B1 and reportedly mask your smell from mosquitos.  Also bought lemon eucalyptus oil and another deet free mosquito cream.  I didn't want to put deet on the kids and since we'd be holding our new baby a lot, I didn't want to accidentally transfer it to her.  Besides, I don't like deet on my skin!  
--stomach bugs.  The water is not drinkable. We have a portable water filtration device by Travl-L-Pure that we have hauled all over the world with us and so far, so good.  We will also be bringing powdered azithromycin for our two older girls in case of diarrhea, and ciprofloxacin for us grown-ups, as well as antidiarrheals and nausea meds.  Also bought lots of hand sanitizer, which is great for bacteria, but not good for viruses, but since we cannot wash our hands in the sink, will have to do for now.

Three more days of work before we jet off on our greatest adventure to date!  So excited to go meet our new baby girl!!!

Travel Informational Meeting

Oh boy, this is really starting to feel like it is really happening!  We had our travel meeting today with AI.  I have to admit, I'm getting pretty nervous.  Will the birth mom like us?  What if she takes one look at us and changes her mind?  What if the judge decides that we are not suitable adoptive parents?  We also discussed bonding issues with adopted children.  Our child is very very young so we don't anticipate any bonding issues, but what if there are?  We discussed appropriate attire for women as well as behavioral differences between Americans and Marshallese.  We have traveled extensively, but this is different on so many levels.  The people that we are meeting will be connected to us for as long as we live.  I just don't want to offend anybody.  Back to packing, just with a lot more nerves!

Gift Suggestions

As we're packing, we're also trying to purchase meaningful gifts for the birth mother and her family.  We know that there is not a single gift in the world that can truly thank her for her selfless sacrifice, so it is a hard thing to do.  Some ideas that were suggested, were things that I would not have thought of myself in a million years.  Yes, there are the typical gifts of candies, fancy soaps, a locket, that we fully intend to do.  What I wouldn't have thought of was Tylenol.  Just plain, over-the-counter, Tylenol. Apparently the hospital ran out of Children's Tylenol at one point in time this year!  Along with Tylenol, loperamide (anti-diarrheal) and Motrin were suggested.  Feels so strange to say, "thank you for your beautiful child.  Here's a bottle of Motrin!".  Picture frames.  Apparently, they are very hard to come by in the Marshalls.  Kit-kat bars.  Apparently, U.S. candy is a big hit over there!  I had purchased some fancy Sees Candies, after somebody suggested that, but turns out, the other little candies are an even bigger hit!  Just have to find room for everything.  We can bring 4 pieces of checked luggage.  Time to get creative!

Court date has been set!

We have a court date!  It is just a couple days after we arrive in Majuro.  Just working like crazy until we leave.  I moved all of my work shifts from the end of the month to the beginning.  I work almost every single day until we leave.  So much to do before we leave in 10 days!

Plane Tickets Purchased!

Plane tickets x 4 purchased.  We are flying into Honolulu a day before our scheduled flight to Majuro as I don't want any flight delays to stymie us catching our flight to Majuro, especially since there are only three flights a week!  We ended up booking the flights from Seattle to Honolulu and Honolulu to Majuro separately as it was much cheaper than buying a combined ticket through United (the only airline that flies to Majuro) and the only way to get direct flights.  United wanted us to have a layover in New Jersey, which if I'm remembering my geography correctly, is not on the way to Hawaii from Seattle!  We bought round trip tickets and will just hope that things go smoothly and we don't have to eat a bunch of change ticket fees.  It was again, much cheaper, than two one way tickets and easier than buying last minute seats for 4 people.  As was, it was hard to find seats together for such last minute ticket purchases!  Next step is to get our court paperwork notarized.  We have a travel notary coming to the house tomorrow morning.  We then need to scan this form and send it in pdf format to Adopt International so that John (the lawyer in Majuro) can submit it to the court first thing on Monday and apply for our court date. 

REALLY PACKING!!!

Oh my goodness, we got the call!  Technically got the call 5 days ago, one day after my last post, but we were out of town so I didn't post.  Had our medical consult today and got two thumbs up for a healthy child!  Sorry, no details about the baby until everything becomes official.  Waiting on our court date and travel details.  I should have started packing weeks ago when I was told to start packing!  For those of you who are on the list, be prepared to leave at any time.  We were still not family #1, #2, or #3, but the birth mom was looking for something specific and so they skipped over everybody to us.  Gotta go pack!  And shop!

Packing!

Well, we have been told TWICE now in the past two weeks that we need to start packing!  No referral yet but we've been told that it could happen any day now.  We were just given a more refined packing list which mentions no swimming suits for women.  Board shorts or swim skirt and swimming shirts over swimsuits only.  Not even a one-piece suit will fly.  Found some cute stuff on Amazon.  My skin will thank me, I'm sure.  Also no tank tops or shorts. Shoulders need to be covered as well as legs past the knees.  Now I need to dig out our baby clothes from the storage closet and start sorting by age and gender.  Since we don't know either of those two things, I'll just have to have labeled piles that I can quickly throw into a suitcase.  I was told that after we receive our referral, we have two weeks to have it reviewed by a physician and to accept or decline it, but that we should really accept within 7 days.  After we accept, they will apply for a court date, which depending on timing, could mean that we need to be in Majuro within 7 days!  So we really should be ready to be in Majuro within 2 weeks of receiving our referral.  It'll be a whirlwind couple of days but I've been assured that after that, everything just slows down to island time.  We were told we'd be updated again in mid-June unless we get a referral before then...

Moving on up!

Yeah, an update!  AI is currently matching about one family per month, which is on par with their numbers from last year.   They matched 12 babies with 12 families.  We are now family #5 on the list, which doesn't really mean a whole lot in the sense of time since there can be movement within the list.  Once we are family #1, #2, or #3, the birth mothers will be shown our photo book and family information.  If they like us, even if we're #3, we'll get a call.  On the other hand, if we are family #1, it doesn't mean that we'll get the next referral.  Out of respect for other families who might be on this list, I won't post our # again after this post.  Would not want anybody's feelings hurt if we leap frogged over them.  I am sure that there are many lovely, deserving families on the list ahead, and behind, us.  So, all that being said, we are most likely looking at an August or September referral.  Now off to plan some summer activities to make the wait go by faster!  On the plus side, we received travel information and a packing list today! It's starting to feel like this may actually happen!

Now, we patiently wait

Well, this will be our last post for a bit as there will be nothing to report for quite awhile.  We were just updated that the current wait for a referral through AI is about 6 months.  Our dossier is in and there is nothing further for us to do.  So, if you were checking back for updates, try again in about 3 months when we were told that we would get another update ourselves.  For all of those who are still on the paper chase, good luck! 

NOW dossier mailed!

The saga continues!  UPS just called to let me know that they somehow "forgot" to put all of our paperwork into our packet yesterday.  One person was trying to fit it all into an envelope, that was obviously too small, and "forgot" to pull it all out before loading it into a box.  They "found" it today, 24 hours later, and have now repackaged it and are sending it to San Francisco, at their expense.  It will now arrive about 5 hours after my other paperwork, which I had paid extra to have delivered in the morning.  Sigh.  I am now giving up on USPS, FedEx, AND UPS to handle anything of any importance. From now on, I will just hand deliver every single thing!

Dossier mailed!

Oh my goodness, it actually happened. Well, it almost didn't.  I had a mini heart attack today.  In a nutshell, this is what happened.  So, we sent everything to the state capital to be aspostilled on Friday.  They got it yesterday.  They apostilled our documents and mailed them out yesterday afternoon. I tracked our package all the way until it was "delivered" to our front porch today.  Imagine my shock, dismay, horror when I realized that FedEx did NOT deposit it on our doorstep at all!  They misdelivered it!  AGH!  No kidding!  They lost all 17 apostilled documents, including those much agonized over child abuse letters.  They had no explanation as to where the package was and no way to get a hold of the driver until his break time.  They told me that they'd call me back in 2 hours.  Nope, not happening.  I packed our 3 year old daughter into the car and we started driving the neighborhood, checking every porch and guess what, miracles do happen as I found it, about 20 minutes later on the next street over!!!  FedEx is officially on my black list!  Quickly photocopied everything, packaged it up courtesy of UPS this time, and mailed it all to California.  It is supposed to get there on Thursday.  Fingers crossed that they can read the label and deliver to the correct address!  Regardless, it is done!  Officially celebrating!

Great News!

Our re-sent notarized addendum to our homestudy showed up in the mail today so we were finally able to mail off all of our paperwork to the state capital to be apostilled!  Whoo hoo!  Original ones still haven't made it.  Only option for mailing our paperwork was USPS since it's a PO Box.  Given the amount of our mail that they have lost in the past 6 months, I am very nervous about having them in control of our precious, hard-earned documents.  I sent it certified express with a tracking number, just to be on the safe side.  I also included a return certified FedEx envelope for it to be sent back to our home address.  Also, my husband got his approval letter today from USCIS to adopt.  I'm sure that mine will be in the mail tomorrow, as everything from Homeland Security has been going to him first, and me the next day.  Odd, but that's been the pattern.  This means that when our papers have been apostilled and returned to us, we will have everything we need for our dossier and we can mail it off to our placing agency!  So excited! 

***edit: Turns out that USCIS only sends out one letter (apparently addressed to the mail head oh household...GRRR...so we are actually both approved to adopt!***

One huge step forward, one tiny step back

WE GOT THE CAN LETTERS!!! WHOO HOO!!!  They came yesterday via FedEx.  Only problem is that our home study addendum, which we need to submit with everything else to be aspostilled, appears to have gotten lost in the mail.  I kid you not!  It was mailed last Tuesday, but never showed up.  Our home study agency just put another one in the mail today.  Everything is in one big envelope, just waiting to be sent to be apostilled.  Feels like we are always waiting on just one more thing.  Our home study agency has been amazing though so when they say that it's in the mail, it's in the mail.  Generally we get things about 2-3 days after they send them so either we'll get the replacement this week...or the original will show up.  Either way, we should be able to send our stuff off to be apostilled by this weekend and then hopefully submit everything to our placing agency by the end of next week.  It was a huge hurdle, but now we are almost there! 

Not holding my breath, but, maybe, just maybe...

Our homestudy agency submitted our addendum of our homestudy to USCIS yesterday.  Still had no word about our child abuse letters so I went from patiently waiting, to purely obnoxious.  I emailed the social worker two days ago, left a voicemail message yesterday, and then called the main line today and left a personal message with a colleague of the social worker to give to her.  It worked!  I got a call back AND an update!  She mailed the second set of letters to our placing agency two days ago.  Finally!  Not holding my breath as there is the whole postal service to count on now but fingers crossed that we finally have this last part of our dossier completed!  YEAH!  Only took 8 weeks to get those letters done, but hey, who's counting?  Oh, yeah, right.  WE ARE!

Still nothing to report. Still awaiting our child abuse letters.  Apparently the person in charge of doing this is aware that they only sent one copy, instead of the requested two and apparently told our placing agency that they would get it done.  That was two weeks ago but here we are, still waiting.  No letters.  Meanwhile, our home study agency is supposed to be updating our homestudy and sending it to us to proff before they resend it to USCIS.  That hasn't been done yet either.  So here we are still.  Waiting.  I promise to report if anything at all happens...

Just had our repeat home study visit per USCIS request.  I guess that it's a good thing that we haven't gotten our child abuse letters yet afterall.  We were waiting to send everything to be apostilled until we received those letters.  Our social worker told us that our dossier would need to include our most current homestudy, which will now be updated to include the visit from today.  So, had we gotten those letters already, we would have had to pay out more money to get this newest homestudy apostilled, and our dossier still wouldn't be completed.  So, I guess the silver lining is that the lengthy delay by the child abuse office actually saved us money and hasn't cost us any time yet.  Now, our homestudy will be updated on Monday and we should get new official copies on Tuesday or Wednesday, so hopefully the child abuse office will be able to complete the request and get those letters to us by early this week so that we can send everything off to be apostilled by the end of next week.  I can hope, right?

Our homestudy agency is wonderful.  I notified them yesterday of USCIS's need for another visit with a social worker, to meet our live-in nanny in person.  Today our social worker, who is still on holiday leave until Monday, contacted us and arranged to come to our house tomorrow and get that done!  On a weekend!  How awesome is he???  If you end up adopting in Washington, let me know as I highly recommend them.  Now, back to waiting on those child abuse letters.  I'm hoping to hear something about that on Monday.  Well, at least we are moving another step forward in one area.  Baby steps...