Oh boy.  Where to even start.  Well, for starters, we have backed away from this particular referral and heartbroken does not begin to describe how we feel right now.  I do not want to expose details because there is an innocent child involved and that is really sad and they deserve respect and privacy.  Let's just say that lawyers are not all to be trusted.  We had gotten a referral for a beautiful child.  There were a couple inconsistencies in the story as to how they became available for adoption but we fell in love with her instantly and overlooked a couple things.  Those inconsistencies grew and after a couple days, it became blatantly apparent that we were not dealing with a very straightforward adoption case, or a very ethical lawyer.   It was a heartbreaking decision, but we decided to go with our guts and stick to our morals and integrity and back away from this referral.  We are now back to playing the waiting game.  We are toying with the idea of reentering the international waitlist and foregoing the domestic adoption route.  Our personal lawyer is awesome and he supported and encouraged us in our decision to walk away from this referral.  The lawyer for the baby and birth mother, however, exposed the horrible side of domestic adoption, especially from such a vulnerable group of people such as the Marshallese.  I hope that this beautiful child can be united with a loving adoptive family or back with her biological parents soon.  We are now at a crossroads and trying to decide what path to take. Stay with domestic and risk another heartbreak, or go with an established international program with strict guidelines and a known timeline.  I am leaning towards the latter at this time.  Sigh.

Why is it that nothing ever happens on a weekend?  Seriously!  I just want to fly to go get our baby girl, but I won't hear anything until tomorrow at the earliest.  Meanwhile, we are busy getting her room ready for her and deciding on a name.  It's just busy work though and is not really distracting me from the fact that our little girl is just waiting for us to fly and get her.  Sigh.

It's a girl!  Oh my goodness, she is so beautiful!  She is just 2 months old.  I cannot wait to snuggle her up in my arms.  We may get our order to fly within the next 10 days to go meet her.  So excited and so nervous as well. What if the birth mother takes one look at us and changes her mind? 

Where to begin?  Within one month we will be a family of five!  Incredible and unbelievable.  All we know is that our baby has been born.  We are awaiting news about birthdate and gender as well as our marching orders to book our airfare.  While we have been planning this for almost 8 months, this last little part has gone so quickly!  Time to find our baby bottles, crib, baby toys, etc.  So exciting and a little bit scary as well.  I promise we'll update this blog with details about our road to adoption after everything is completed.  We will be flying within 30 days.  Eeeek!  (=